Instead of battling it out Kramer v. Kramer style, many couples are divorcing amicably outside the courtroom TRALEE PEARCE
When Toronto couple Miriam and Andrew Grenville decided to end their 20-year marriage, neither wanted a bloodbath. But they knew that signing up with divorce lawyers might send them on that trajectory. After some research, they found a new breed of divorce, one that aims to eschew Kramer vs. Kramer-style jousting in favour of civilized negotiations – negotiations that seek to keep divorce out of the courts. The Grenvilles retained legal counsel, but instead of seeking out hardened divorce lawyers, they hired ones who work in a growing field called collaborative practice. While traditional divorce involves a back and forth between opposing counsel for the two spouses, the collaborative approach centres on getting all four parties – the couple plus lawyers – at the same table. The goal of the meetings is to find solutions to breakup issues – custody, financial support and the division of assets – without acrimony and without going to court. “Couples I’ve seen get divorced – it’s been a living hell for everyone,” says Mr. Grenville, 43. While the divorce rate hovers at about 40 per cent, Canadians are clearly looking for a gentler, less confrontational approach when they do choose to end their marriages. In Ontario alone, there are now more than 550 lawyers who offer the collaborative approach, up from 85 in 2002. Now, some lawyers want to see the federal Divorce Act amended to mention collaborative practice as an alternative dispute-resolution option. Delegates at a conference on collaborative practice this week in Toronto will be asked to sign a petition urging federal Justice Minister Rob Nicholson to add collaborative practice to the Divorce Act’s section 9. Currently, the section stipulates that it is a lawyer’s duty to tell a client about the availability of mediation as a second option to the traditional divorce law. Mediation is different from collaborative practice. In mediation, a couple will visit a mediator, either separately or together, to hammer out custody or financial agreements. The agreements then go to each of the spouses’ lawyers for review. If one of the lawyers finds something amiss, the process is repeated. Mediation is generally considered a good choice for low-conflict cases, and divorce court is the choice for high-conflict disputes. Collaborative lawyers say their option lies between the two – and should be offered as a third approach in the act.